Tuesday, 31 December 2013

2014 & All its possibilities

2014 is surely on its way and unless God decides that the world is His for the taking the new year is in the air.  I am in the process of doing my personal year in review of 2013.  I will share the bad and ugly of 2013 in a later post.  Over the course of my blog I have expressed some personal goals I wished to achieve and the challenges met with doing so.  

Well 2014 represents a clean slate for me and I will only be taking the lessons learnt from 2013 onward.  I will also be rolling over some of the goals from 2013 that are still being worked on - my desire to learn French and my desire to get and stay fit & healthy.  I have also decided that I will not be making new year's  resolutions but rather new year's commitments.  In addition to the renaming (lol) it is also imperative to have plans and strategies in place to ensure the successful execution of these commitments.    

So my commitments are as follows:

1. Get fit and healthy - this area hasn't been met with total success. I have lost weight. I have gained it back. I think the most success I have achieved with this area is the alteration in my eating habits.  It's not perfect but I'm getting there. I have made changes in the following areas:
  • I have reduced my sugar intake and I drink more water
  • I eat less fast food but I still love my fries (I know I know)
  • I experiment with healthy foods and I cook more than before (still got ways to go but it is definitely more  than before)
  • I have invested in a kitchen appliance - a toaster oven - allows me to prepare meals without having to use a conventional oven
  • I have learnt to eat foods I wouldn't normally eat - sweet potato, salads (on a regular basis)
  • I have reduced my rice intake
  • Increased my fruit intake 
There are others but you get the idea.

Ultimately I would like to lose 20 pounds by the middle of 2014.  I think that is a realistic goal.  Eating healthy and exercising consistently, however, is not only a daily goal but one I hope to eventually turn into lifetime goal)

2. Building a closer relationship  with God - I think is my most important relationship and a serious commitment. My relationship with God is much closer than it has ever been.  I keep in mind that the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.  I take this commitment one day at a time and have been building on same since last year. I go to church regularly now and no longer see going as a chore but a moment with God in His house. I incorporate prayer, my declarations, songs of praise and worship in my daily life.   As I do so I realize that God is indeed focused on me and my destiny of leading a victorious life. I intend to seek counsel/ advice on how to solidify my relationship with God. 

3.  Smile more - This one is a serious one for me.  Literally.  I usually have a serious expression. More than half the time I am not even contemplating anything serious or worrying about anything but apparently my expression tells a completely different story.  My family, lots of friends and even strangers has commented on my expression/face.  “Weh mi ah worry bout so? Weh do you? Something happen? Who trouble you?”  Often times it is nothing. Or rather I have nothing to smile about.  So I have decided to try something new - I’m gonna smile more.  Sounds simple doesn't it?  Let’s see! So as usual I Googled “What can smiling do you for you and others?”  Quite a few websites proved to be incredible resources, however, I settled on two - Top 10 Reasons to Smile &  7 Good Reasons to Smile.  Both articles cite that smiling can make you happy even when you are not, is contagious and makes other people happy, makes more you attractive and helps you de-stress.   But it doesn't stop there as smiling can also lead to laughter, feeling good and even land you a job!  Smiling also can help to reduce blood pressure, make you look younger and appear confident.  So nuff nuff smiles for 2014 mi say!

4.  Stop becoming a people pleaser and become a “me” pleaser - I freely admit that when I was younger I had quite a bit of a selfish streak (still do but no where as much).  Because of that I started to overcompensate by becoming a people pleaser.   Once I am asked to do something for a friend especially someone I hold dear I am quick to say yes even at my own inconvenience.  Why do I do it? I am not really sure but I intend to reflect. Sometimes I think I just don't want anyone being mad at me for saying no (that makes no sense as I type but it's true) or badmouth me because I did say no.  A lot of this people pleasing I think is definitely tied to how my view myself.  I freely admit that I do not have the healthiest of self esteem and I am not very confident at times.   More people pleasing has caused me to make decisions that were not the best decisions for ME.  It's gonna be hard to change as I have been people pleasing for a long time. It is not my goal to retain my selfish streak but I must strike a balance some way some how.  It can be done.  It will be done.  

5.  Read more motivational, uplifting books - Truth be told I love to read.  I'll read just about anything really. Lately though the only books I have been reading are romance novels and stuff for my blog.  I would love to change that.  So I have decided to get into to habit of reading a motivational or inspiring book per month.   So far I have highlighted five or rather found five at home that I have either borrowed, gotten, bought (not quite remembering which is applicable).  I plan to read each and give a review of same.  I hope to impart any lesson or inspiration that comes my way. 

6. Become the most positive and enthusiastic person I know - Becoming Ms. Positivity has become my new mantra (sounds cliche I'm sure but I'm doing it anyway).  I am aiming for better by declaring better.  Recently if somebody asked me how I was doing I generally would respond with the words “ok”, “fine”, “all right”.  I was never good, great or awesome.  Things have changed as now when I am asked how I am doing I respond with the words "good", "great" or "awesome".   I use these words even when I am not feeling this way.  I hope that in saying that I am "good", "great" or "awesome" then it will come into being.  My thoughts will become my actions.  Persons I have met along the journey of life have definitely shown me that despite the negatives life has so many positives and the time spent to highlight the negatives shortens one’s years, happiness, emotional stability, health, etc.  After saying all of that which would you choose?

6. Learn (some) French - I had an opportunity in high school to learn.  The teachers I didn't think were very effective and I lost interest.  I am sorry I didn't push it as I think a second language (and not patois) truly open doors for an individual not just locally but internationally too.  I have checked out the possibility of pursuing classes at French Alliance or using Youtube to learn so as to see how I fare at it.  I am also giving myself six months with commitment as well.  I do not anticipate fluency but I hope to recognize some words and be able to say some sentences in French.   I will advise of any progress made along the way.

7.  Personal Commitment/Life Changing Commitments - There exists personal and life changing commitments that I made in 2013 that I hope will come to fruition in 2014.  I am working hard and still doing the groundwork.  I put my ideas and my progress on paper and I go over them periodically.  At this point I do not wish to share these commitments but I will advise when definite progress has been made.  And no -  is not marriage or kids!


So now I've advised of my resolutions.  Now it's time for strategies!

Upon settling on my new year's commitments I thought about the strategies  I would use to ensure my success.  I came across a interesting article, Keeping your resolution, written by Jodi-Anne Lawrence in today's Sunday Gleaner (December 29, 2013).  The article was aptly titled as she consulted life coach and psychologist Olive Ellis on tips on keeping your resolution or in my case, commitments (*insert smiley face).  Ms. Ellis advised that we should consider the acronym - SMARTER - Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, Time-bound, Enticing and Rewarding when developing new year's resolutions.  She further explains that we should specific about what we want to accomplish and that it should be measurable. Furthermore you need to set realistic expectations so that you are not easily discouraged.  Ms. Ellis added that it is important to set a time span, put a fun & enticing element to it so that it feels like less of a chore and reward yourself at the end. The article then gives the following pointers which quotes  and paraphrased Ms. Ellis's pointers that one can use to ensure that the new year's resolutions are indeed accomplished:  
  1. Have a vision -  Know what you want and picture yourself as you would like to be. Imagine yourself happy and confident in that new way.  One way to achieve is to create a vision board or a vision collage.  A vision board or vision collage is typically a poster board on which you paste or collage images that you've gotten from magazines, printed online, from anywhere really.  I would encourage colour pics and not black and white for a more eye catching effect.  These images should represent the goals you would like to achieve, for example, I want toned legs so I would Google images of a pair of toned legs, print and paste on my vision board.  In addition a poster board does not have to be used. I typically use cartridge paper.  You can even use cardboard when neatly put together create something like a poster board.  I recently started a workout collage (which I am still working on) and I hope to have same ready for display shortly.  Once complete place it in an area which is visible to you at all times.  Seeing the vision board or collage reminds you daily of your goal and helps to keep you motivated for sure.  
  2. Set realistic goals - Persons fail to keep their new year's resolutions because they generally aim too high.  As stated above I want to lose 20 pounds in six months.  Usually it is advised to lose a pound a week which would mean 4  pounds per month.  With my goal I am aiming for 3 to 3 1/2 pounds per month.  Seems realistic enough.  Make we see nuh!
  3. Write down these goals - Put on paper the steps you will need to take to achieve these goals.  For example, if your goal is to lose weight, then you might need to develop a weight loss plan, change eating habits, exercise consistently, etc.
  4. Create an activity schedule - This schedule should include the things you need to do daily to achieve your goals.  It is important that you stick to your schedule, though there will be times when you will have to break planned activities but get back on track as soon as possible. Do I know this or what? Sometimes when I miss a day of exercise it will turn into two days of no exercise, then a week.  Before I know it a month has passed since my last workout. 
  5. Be disciplined - It will not be easy to stick to your goals as there will be challenges and obstacles along the way.  It is quite natural to become discouraged or depressed when there is a setback.  Do not stop or abort the process.  This is where self-discipline and perseverance comes in.  
  6. Believe in yourself - If you do not believe in yourself then nobody will. Look in the mirror and give yourself a pep talk.
  7. Get support - No man is an island and so in achieving your goals you will need to seek out support from family, friends, etc.  Having the necessary support will help to lessen the burden and this will show that you are really serious about achieving your goals.
  8. Enjoy what you are doing - Going about achieving your goals should not feel like a burden.  You should enjoy the process by finding ways to make it interesting and fun.  Keep thinking about how happy you will be when the goal is achieved.
  9. Reward yourself - Reward yourself along the way and especially when you have achieved your goal.
So I have stated my commitments and suggested strategies (mentioned above in the article in the Sunday Gleaner).  I hope to go in further detail with each commitment and my strategies for potential success along the way.  The new year is starting and it is time for action and follow through.   I officially start January 1, 2014.  My check in points are April 1, 2014 & July 1, 2014.   Even if I suffer a setback or challenge I will pick up where I left off and keep going.   I make this sincere commitment to myself to keep going. 

Think about your resolutions, commitments, goals or anything you want to call them lol. Think about stuff that matters, stuff that will aid in your overall self improvement.  Put them on paper and put the necessary strategies to follow through.  You can't give up. I won't give up.  Join me on a quest of never ending self improvement.


My main source for this post:
The Sunday Gleaner dated Dec 29, 2013 - Outlook Magazine (and yes the actual Sunday Gleaner)

Friday, 27 December 2013

Positivity!

Now I know I’ve been missing from blogosphere for some time now.  I haven’t written anything in nearly two months (hands on cheeks).  I have been super busy with work (of course with no adjustment to my pay slip).  Anyway, I have been working on this post for some time now.  I hope you enjoy.  Let’s get to reading……………….

Now I'll be the first to admit that I was never your "Ms. Mary Sunshine", I was truly a "Debbie Downer" (all my SNL fans would know who this is lol).  I generally viewed things with a glass half empty mentality.  I always considered the worst case scenario in any and every situation.  Once the worst occurred I would then act accordingly cause after all the worst was expected.  I was truly a very pessimistic individual.  I think about past positive scenarios and found that even then I would zero in on whatever negative aspect I could find of that scenario.

I have had an amazing life, a great life thus far (& my amazing & great life continues still).  I never met any serious challenges until I got older when my rose coloured glasses were removed from my eyes.  I received a serious wake up call.  I realised that were persons in this world that went out of their way to steal your joy and your positivity.  Simply put: they are placed to break you or grow you.   I generally allowed persons to “break me”.  Now the saying "People come into your life for a reason or season" and this I realise to be true with each passing day.  I have learnt that by allowing someone to “break me” is tantamount to giving this person power over your life, actions, feelings, thoughts - everything. Over time I have learnt that when a person comes in to your life and acts like that they are definitely in your life for a season.  If one comes in your life and inspires you in any way they are definitely in your life for more than a season and most definitely a reason.

I am learning to remain positive in the midst of adversity, great and/or small.  It has been not easy as I have been a negative individual for so long.  I have had to train myself not to resort to harbouring negative thoughts in the midst of any form of strife.  The simplest signs of adversity generally would send me over the edge.  Now I am definitely a lot more patient as I evaluate the situation and look for the opportunity in the present difficulty.   For example, the other day my car refused to start on two occasions.  The first occasion I was really despondent, angry and worrisome; worried that the repair cost would break me.  I felt defeated.  Something so minor (in the grand scheme of things) got me so defeated, so down.  My friends know I am prone to quick tears and they were on their way for sure.  On the second occasion, however, I took a totally different approach. It was like I was a different person. Initially I asked the Lord "why now?"  I thought to myself "mi just fix the blasted car".  This particular time I had just gotten paid and I started going off on a tangent with all kinds of thoughts.  I started to laugh and said in my mind “All is well".  I said it so much in mind I started saying it out loud "All is well!"  I spoke freely to my God.  I asked Him that the repair be minor and resolved as quick as possible. This whole car saga took place at 6.41 pm and by 8 pm I was home (I made some stops along the way too :)).  The cost - much less than what it cost me the first time around (Yay!!!!).  It did not “mash up” my budget too badly.

My boyfriend of almost one year has also played a critical role in the overhaul of my outlook on life.  He is positive about life possibilities, totally in love with His God and has the biggest heart of anyone I know.  He has taught me remain calm in the spite of all of life’s difficulties.  Accept that things happen for a reason and that I am where God wants me to be at this time in my life.  He has taught me to hope, hold onto my dreams, have faith in God and believe that all things are possible. He constantly and consistently encourages me to be the best “me” possible.  Richard Bernard has become and is my own personal cheerleader.  Another reason and not just for a season!

The reasons continue.  My supervisor at work recently resigned and my "little world" felt threatened.  She had become my fearless confidante and buffer against work pressures and some of life's pressures too.  I felt stressed (lol, word start get regular use sah since she lef).  I felt like I couldn't manage without her but I would have to as her time with me at work drew nearer to a close.  She truly holds herself highly and not in arrogant manner.  She truly believes in God and trusts him explicitly.  I have learnt that in leaning on Him will never steer me wrong.  Heather Muirhead Brown has been a Godsend. 

There are others that have impacted positively in my life (i.e. my mom but I think that goes without saying) and I realise that by surrounding yourself with positive people even if things do not go the way you want or plan it is profound to get through the outcome whether favourable or not.  I say avoid negative people but sometimes it is hard especially when you are related to them.  I say steer the conversation towards positive words as best as you can and then get away as soon as you can. 

In addition to surrounding myself with positive people and deepening my relationship with God I have found several pages on Facebook that provide inspirational advice, lots of words of wisdom and encouragement.  They include:  Zig Ziglar, Joel Osteen, Les Brown, Iylana Vanzant, Paula White, MindFood, Robert Kiyosaki, Jim Rohn, Simple Truths, Life Pulp, Quotes Influence, Your Beautiful Life.  I encourage you to like them as they post on your timeline words and quotes of positivity and inspiration.  I don’t know about you but a lot of times these words come just at the right time.

An area of great discomfort for me is my (current) weight, my sporadic lack of motivation to exercise and eat right.  I do try keep focused on my goal - get fit, get healthy but it's hard. I do realise that I must remain positive as even though I do not have the body I want now I know that with constant diligence and faith in God and the process I will definitely get there.  It took me a while to understand but I think I do now.  You have to love what you have now (my body that is) then work on making it better.  There is no shame in constant self improvement.  After all we are all works of progress.

A positive attitude will lead to positive outcomes (borrowed from LifePulp on FB).  I will achieve my goal - get fit & healthy - one day at a time.