As we are born I would think all parents pray for a healthy child - ten fingers, ten toes. After that I think gender comes is next in line as a desire. Boy or girl - like there's anything else. In the days, weeks and months following our births we are deemed the most perfect, adorable, cutest (I could go on with the adjectives) human alive. We are complimented and adored and we (as babies) laugh and giggle in response and in agreement. Eventually other well meaning individuals/outsiders (siblings, other relatives, friends, acquaintances, even strangers) then voice their opinions about us - what are we doing at what age; are we teething, walking, creeping, crawling - you get my drift. If we are doing what were supposed to be doing at a particular age, then great - we've escaped any admonishing for a while. If we don't then we are "nicely" criticized and compared to others about our lack of progress.
I am almost sure that it goes downhill from here. It's possible we are likely too young to care but that doesn't stop the parade of needless criticisms and comparisons. So we continue and grow some more. The "outsiders" (as mentioned above) become more vocal as we grow.
So we grow up and more compliments and criticisms are sent our way. Sometimes the compliments outweighs the criticisms and we are able to cope and forge our way through. On the other hand when the criticisms outweigh the compliments then we find ourselves in trouble. We come become plagued with low self esteem, poor self image, depression - I could go on. We compare ourselves to everyone we meet and we wonder about our shortfalls and why we fail to (constantly) make the "grade." I think one of my most painful moments in regards to my self image was probably mid high school. I always felt that my gal pals were pretty ( and I was not pretty) and so I asked a friend of mine what was it like being pretty. (Insert dramatic music here). She answered and explained her life as a pretty girl. In that moment I felt devastated, crushed even. She spoke of a life I could never relate to (at that time). A life of a girl who had a healthy self image. I think my teenage years sometimes were the roughest as I had an unhealthy self image. Thank God things have changed.
I often wonder about the lack of love of oneself and the predicaments we get ourselves in as a result of that lack. I think about my past and how my lack of love for myself has impacted me and the decisions I made yesterday, today and for my future. Feelings of lack are neverending. Every time a goal is reached or you possess the next big thing your ego will move the line and makes the achievement seem, once again,lacking. Boy this word "lack" getting a ton of use!
I was never fat, then again neither was I never slim. Well that's not completely true. I wore size 5 until about 8 or 9th grade (I was about 13 going 14 or maybe 14 going 15 - honestly don't remember). Then came my curves. It seems like I went to bed one night and suddenly my hips and derriere appeared bigger than I remembered (lol). My body changed and so did my self image. I was no longer petite and I no longer fit a particular and "acceptable mold".
With age I realise comes maturity and (some) wisdom. I have learnt that the women in magazines do not look like the women in the magazine. For the most part they have been photoshopped, airbrushed, etc to death. So no matter how you pray, wish, exercise, diet and tweak away you will always be you or a rundown version of you. Take note of the series called Botched on E! Online (it's a series highlighting botched - hence the name - plastic surgeries and the qualified plastic surgeons who now attempt to correct these procedures). My apologies as I digress. I continue.
Ever felt surrounded by perfection - it could be a sibling, another relative, a friend or a co-worker. Someone who knowingly or unknowingly make you feel inferior. You wonder what it's like to be like them. You think how much better your life would be if you were exactly like them. It gets even harder when their traits, characteristics, looks get them ahead especially further than you. You get annoyed, stressed out, exhausted even cause despite all your efforts to be someone else it never goes the way you think or hope. You can never be anyone else but yourself.
Only YOU can change the way YOU view yourself. Learning to love yourself is one heck of a journey and it certainly doesn't happen overnight. It is one day at a time process. It is a continuous process. Self love as defined by Google.com is regard for one's own well being and happiness. If you are busy trying to be someone else it is impossible to be mindful of one's own well being and happiness.
Learning to love myself definitely took a long time. I'm embarrassed to say how long it took.
One thing that has definitely helped me in loving myself is my relationship with God. He created me in His image. God doesn't make mistakes as He created me to be unique. I have daily devotions and read His word.
I have also learnt that giving yourself a regular pep talk goes a far way than hearing a compliment from someone. Do you think you can believe anyone if you don't believe in yourself?
Be kind to yourself. Stop being negative and thinking negatively of yourself. Believe in your achievements whether great or small. They are your achievements.
Accept yourself. Accept the good, bad and the not so good.
Engage in activities that your engage your passion and that "feel good" feeling.
You are the only person that can be the best you there is. You are perfect being you.
Replace every negative adjective you usually describe yourself with a positive. Do it until it becomes a habit. Do it until it feels true deep down inside.
Accept that change is necessary and constant.
Be patient with yourself. You created a negative self image over time. There's no way you can undo all of that in one go.
You will have momentary lapses. You will falter along the journey of self-love. The ultimate goal is not let this momentary lapses become semi-permanent ones.
Just take it one day at a time. I did.
Ever felt surrounded by perfection - it could be a sibling, another relative, a friend or a co-worker. Someone who knowingly or unknowingly make you feel inferior. You wonder what it's like to be like them. You think how much better your life would be if you were exactly like them. It gets even harder when their traits, characteristics, looks get them ahead especially further than you. You get annoyed, stressed out, exhausted even cause despite all your efforts to be someone else it never goes the way you think or hope. You can never be anyone else but yourself.
Only YOU can change the way YOU view yourself. Learning to love yourself is one heck of a journey and it certainly doesn't happen overnight. It is one day at a time process. It is a continuous process. Self love as defined by Google.com is regard for one's own well being and happiness. If you are busy trying to be someone else it is impossible to be mindful of one's own well being and happiness.
Learning to love myself definitely took a long time. I'm embarrassed to say how long it took.
One thing that has definitely helped me in loving myself is my relationship with God. He created me in His image. God doesn't make mistakes as He created me to be unique. I have daily devotions and read His word.
I have also learnt that giving yourself a regular pep talk goes a far way than hearing a compliment from someone. Do you think you can believe anyone if you don't believe in yourself?
Be kind to yourself. Stop being negative and thinking negatively of yourself. Believe in your achievements whether great or small. They are your achievements.
Accept yourself. Accept the good, bad and the not so good.
Engage in activities that your engage your passion and that "feel good" feeling.
You are the only person that can be the best you there is. You are perfect being you.
Replace every negative adjective you usually describe yourself with a positive. Do it until it becomes a habit. Do it until it feels true deep down inside.
Accept that change is necessary and constant.
Be patient with yourself. You created a negative self image over time. There's no way you can undo all of that in one go.
You will have momentary lapses. You will falter along the journey of self-love. The ultimate goal is not let this momentary lapses become semi-permanent ones.
Just take it one day at a time. I did.
